More Weeping

Ugh, I weep therefore I am. Everything is fine, yet I weep.

Had an appointment this morning with the OB again. No change in dilation or with anything really. We discussed doing an induction this week. She said there are lots of women who are past their due dates or who need scheduled inductions right now, and that the hospital schedule cannot accommodate them. She might have an opening for this Thursday for me, but is not sure. If not, there will be no openings until next week Tuesday at the earliest. The baby will be estimated to weigh over 9 pounds by then.

So I waited for them to call me all day and to let me know if there will be an opening, but they didn't. I called as I was leaving work and they said they might know more about scheduling tomorrow, but at this point they are "in a holding pattern and have nothing for the next few days."

I weep because I feel out of control. I weep because I am exhausted and cannot sleep at all and being tired always makes me weepy. I weep because I am nervous about what is ahead. I weep because I feel incredibly alone.