I am frustrated, and worried about how I'll be judged for that. Some women feel (and post) strongly about not rushing the baby...saying that women shouldn't want anything to happen before the due date, etc. Well, I'm frustrated. I had my 38w4d OB appointment today and was hoping for some progress beyond 1 cm of dilation. And there was none. "Maybe you are 1 1/2" she said. I thought all the pressure I've been feeling and the walking I've been doing might have helped things along a little more. Nope!
It's not that I'm being impatient, or that I can't stand being pregnant anymore or anything like that. I'm just worried that the longer things go, the larger this baby gets (I mean, can I really deliver a 9 pound baby?). As the baby gets larger, the more likely I will have to have a c-section. And to be honest, I'd rather not. Of course, I will have one if it is needed and I won't make a fuss. To me, the most important thing is birthing a healthy baby--in whatever way that happens. I'm just fixated on the not-being-able-to-hold-the-baby-right-away thing while my arms would be strapped down crucifixion style. (I remember having my arms strapped down right before I was knocked out for my myomectomy in January 2007, and I didn't like it!) So my friend--and not a husband, who would be as invested in this baby as I am--will hold the baby for who knows how long, yet I will have to wait. It feels off, and it makes me ache.
The OB said I should go BACK to the hospital later this week for a growth ultrasound (I was a bit miffed that she wouldn't/couldn't use the ultrasound machine in the office to estimate the size of the baby). We'll get an estimate of the baby's size, and go from there. She suggested we schedule a tentative induction for late next week, which would be about 2-3 days before my due date. She was sure to remind me that inductions leave you much more susceptible to having a c-section. "It's your choice...we can always wait to induce until after your due date."
How does one make this choice...to induce or not to induce? I feel screwed either way...if I induce, I'm more likely to have a c-section. If I wait until after my due date, I'm more likely to have a c-section. I guess I just should get used to the idea!!
I'm sure I'll get through all of this. But I'm just frustrated and a little lost right now.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
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11 comments:
Hang in there Jess! You never know - you could start on your own and not need to be induced. I'm crossing my fingers for you!!
*Sorry, this is a long one. I tried to make it short but failed.
I already know that I'll be having a c-section and the loss of control, not being able to hold the baby first and not being able to keep the baby with me from the beginning are my biggest concerns.
If you haven't already find out what the c-section rules are for where you will be delivering. Some places are very Mom/baby friendly and some are a nightmare. Some hospitals will whisk the baby away for an extended period of time and others will plop the baby on your chest while you are being stitched up and wheeled to the recovery room.
Some of the established rules are for safety and some are because it's just easier for the staff to do it that way. Challenge the ones that matter most to you. You are the mom and what you say goes. It will be tough to stand up for yourself while you're in the moment and drugged up so make sure that you're Doctor and support person know your wishes.
You can insist that your arms be left free.
You can insist/ask that the drape be lowered so that you can see your baby being delivered and not just when the doc thinks to lift her high enough. I'm told that your belly will block all the gory stuff.
Insist/ask that the baby stay with you in recovery.
There are pain management options that make you less spaced out than others. Ask for those to be tried first so your first hours with baby aren't hazy.
Insist/ask that only the necessary tests be performed while she is away from you and that everything else (like her first bath) be done when you are in the same room.
You can still be the first person to hold her. The nurse might have to help you but it can be done.
Decide what is non-negotiable and don't let anyone tell you no! (of course safety and healthy baby trumps everything)
You still have 10 days left which is a long time so think positive and relax. Keep in mind that right now the baby might not be engaged and 12 hours from now you could be delivering .. you can't predict when the necessary hormones will kick in. Also, induction does not mean c-section .. just means a potential for epidural. And as much as I personally hate the idea of induction myself ultimately what it comes down to that's what it'll be. Just keep in mind that no matter what giving birth will take one day but the baby will be with you for years and years :) and what matters is that one way or another you and her will be together very soon. Everything else will just become details at that moment.
I know how hard it is to manage frustration and stress but this late in the game the more relaxed you are the better. Stress tightens up your muscles, etc. It's not scientific but some of the ones I plan to use in my last week are relaxation, light exercise, primrose oil, raspberry leaf tea and spicy foods.
Also, I agree with Meg: "Decide what is non-negotiable and don't let anyone tell you no!" (bar the safety)
.. oh! and I share both your worry of a big baby (which by the way seems to be more of a genetic thing - do you know how big you were when you were born?) and the feelings of anticipation (aka, are we there yet?).
It is hard and no matter what at the end of any pregnancy but ESPECIALLY the first one you are sooo ready to meet the baby.
I am personally rarely for induction because once they have you like that the c/s is way more likely. I would say wait if you can but you also have to find a quiet moment and follow what your heart tells you to do mama.
Good luck and lots of love.
I can understand your frustration. I wish I had something to say that would help. I would agree with others who have said to figure out what is non negotiable and address that. Otherwise I hope that she decides to come on her own soon. Hang in there and hugs to you.
Not sure how much this will help, as everyone's so different, but my sister-in-law just had a baby, and was induced 7days after her due date, and had the baby without C-section or epidural.
The baby was 8ibs.
Good luck with the waiting & thinking.
I love Meg's suggestions!
I think you'll have a better idea of how to proceed once the size is estimated. It's hard not to know what to do, but right now you may not have quite enough information to make a decision you'll be comfortable with.
And maybe consider a compromise, such as scheduling your induction for 40w1d? At least then you'll know that you waited past your due date, but not so far past as to give the baby time to get too large.
Hang in there! You're doing great.
This must be so difficult! I'm sorry you have to go through this. Just as an anecdote, both my sister and my two cousins had all of their labors induced (they have 5 kids among all of them) and not one was a C-section. Again, yet another thing that is out of your control!
I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you, hang in there!
Hang in here.
Hang in there.
I think I would wait with the induction, at least until you know the current size. But then, if the size will be on the bigger side, don't know what to tell you.
I hope you will have a non c-section birth, but if you do need to, I hope Meg's suggestions come in handy.
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