Baby Allie is Here!

Sorry it has taken me so long to post.  This has been such a life changing event, I cannot really put the words together, but I'll try.

Alexandria Mary was born on 1/13/09 at 4:28 pm.  

I went to the hospital around 4:30 am.  1-2 cm dilated at that point.  

At 8:00 am I was still 1-2 cm dilated.  Pain.  Got an epidural which was GREAT. Started pitocin.  

At 10:00 am I was 5 cm dilated!

At 12:00 I was 7-8 cm dilated!

By 2:00 I was fully dilated.

Doctor wanted to wait an hour before starting to push so baby's big head could move down on its own so I could conserve my energy for pushing.

Started pushing at 3:00 pm.  

Baby born at 4:28 pm.

The pushing was among the most intense, most physically difficult experiences I've had.  I felt like I never really got the hang of it and that many, many pushes were unproductive.  Doctor considered c-section for a while, then thought about using a vacuum.  I decided it was time.  I gave the biggest push of my life (doctor called it "an Academy Award winning push"), I yelled "come out baby!" and her head came out...with her arm!  I tore from my vag to the rectum with that push.  Apparently it was very, very bad.  Doctor called in a doctor to help deal with the situation because I still had to get the shoulders out and he didn't want me to tear my rectum too.  It all worked out...a few minutes later the rest of Allie came out in one push. 

She was put on my stomach and suddenly life changed forever.  She is perfect and wonderful.  I love her intensely.  I worry about her intensely.  I can't believe she came out of me.  I am so lucky.

She was 8 lbs 3 oz and 19 1/4 inches long.  I had to be stitched up for almost an hour.  I totally lost bladder control and am still fighting to get it back.  I am sore and physically exhausted.  

My emotions are all over the place.  When things are okay, I'm so happy and so grateful for this amazing child, and I am just overcome with the beauty of all this.  But when something goes wrong (which might be as insignificant as not being able to find my chapstick), I freak out, cry, and hold on to the thought that I'm a failure and a disaster.  Lack of sleep is a big problem too.  Allie sleeps well during the day but doesn't sleep at night.

The pediatrician who saw Allie in the hospital ordered a sonogram to look at the kidney.  And it seems there is still some mild enlargement and some other potential issues...none of which were serious, or so I'm told.  I am supposed to follow up with a pediatric urologist next week so I have to get on that.  That whole thing upsets me greatly...but we will get through it.

Okay enough of the negative and scary stuff.  Let me tell you a little bit about the wonder that is my daughter.  For now I will say she has big chubby cheeks, she is curious, she is extremely cuddly and wonderful to snuggle with, she doesn't cry unless we are having trouble getting her to latch on properly (which is frequent...I need some help with that), she has dark soft hair, she has beautiful hands and ears, she has perfect rosebud lips, sometimes she hums when she breathes, she loves to put her arm above her head...similar to how she was born..., she knows my voice and has from the start.  I love her more than I thought I could.  She is my little munchkin.

I hope everyone is doing well.  I will catch up on reading your blogs soon.  And I appreciate all of your support!!!